SOME TIME I USED TO FEEL LIKE A LOOSER …
ACTUALLY NOT SOME TIME ,,, EVERY TIME I FEEL LIKE I AM A LOOSER …
I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS …
IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT THERE ARE NO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD …
THE WORLD IS FULL OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE …BUT NO ONE SEEMS MINE ..
NOT EVEN MY MOM AND DAD …

I USED TO BE SILENT ALL TIME … I DON’T LIKE TO TALK WITH ANY ONE …I DON’T KNOW WHY …
I ALWAYS USED TO COMPARE MYSELF WITH MY FRIENDS …
I AM NOT HANDSOME … THEY ARE HANDSOME …
MY HEALTH IS NOT GOOD …THERE’S HEALTH IS VERY GOOD …
I DON’T LOOK GOOD …THEY LOOK GOOD …
EVEN MY HEIGHT IS NOT GOOD …THEY HAVE GOOD LOOK …
THEY LIVE WITH THERE LOVED ONE …I AM ALONE SINCE MY CHILDHOOD …
THEY HAVE MANY FRIENDS TO HANG ON WITH … I DON’T HAVE ANY ONE …

MY LIFE IS A JOKE …
EVERY DAY , MINUTES AND SECOND , I USED TO THINK THAT …TOMORROW  WILL BRING ME A HOPE …
BUT NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WITH ME …
I FEEL VERY SAD , WHEN MY FRIENDS TALK TO THERE MOM AND DAD IN FRONT OF ME …
I FEEL SAD WHEN IN SEE ANYONE IN HAPPY MOOD …

I AM A SLOW LEARNER …AND IT HURTS WHEN PEOPLE TORCHER ME BY SAYING MY MISTAKES TO ME …
I DON’T LIKE TO LISTEN TO ANY ONES ADVICE …
I AM VERY WEAK AT HEART …
I AM A BOY …BUT MY HEART IS LIKE THE HEART OF A SMALL INNOCENT GIRL …WHO FEELS HAPPY WHEN SOME ONE TREAT HER GOOD …AND FEELS HURT WHEN SOMEONE IGNORE HER OR TRY TO SHOW HER DOWN …

I AM NOT PERFECT , I DO LOTS OF MISTAKE …
AND ONLY I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MISTAKES I DO …BUT IT HURTS WHEN SOME ONE MAKES ME REMEMBER MY MISTAKES ALL TIME …

LIKE EVERY PERSON , I ALSO HAVE MANY DREAMS ..BUT I DON’T THINK THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO FULFILL ANYONE OF MY DREAM …
I USED TO CRY ALONE IN MY ROOM …WHEN I SEE SOMEONES POST ON FB , LIKE ( FEELING HAPPY ) ,,,THEN I USED TO BE VERY SAD …
I DON’T LIKE TO SEE ANYONE IN HAPPY MOOD …IT HURTS ME MUCH …

WHEN I FEEL ALONE ,, THEN I USED TO GO THROUGH MY PHONE CONTACTS IN ORDER TO FIND SOME ONE TO TALK WITH …BUT I NEVER FOUND ANYONE SUITABLE FOR THIS …
IF I WILL TALK TO MY MANAGER …THEN IT WOULD BE ONLY REGARDING WORK …
IF I WILL TALK TO MY DAD … THEN IT WOULD BE ONLY REGARDING COLLEGE STUDIES…
IF I WILL TALK TO MY SISSY …THEN IT WOULD BE ONLY FAMILY MATTERS …
IF I WILL TALK TO MY MOM …THEN IT WOULD BE ONLY REGARDING STUDY WELL …
IF I WILL TALK TO MY FRIENDS … THEY WILL JUST IGNORE ME …COS THEY DON’T HAVE ANY THING TO DO WITH ME …
I AM NOT ANY ONES BEST FRIEND …
AND ALSO NO ONE IS MY BEST FRIEND …

I LOST MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE …
I CANT MENTION HERE …IT WILL CREATE A BIG ISSUES …
BUT ALSO I CANT KEEP THESE THINGS IN MY HEART ..IT BOTHERS ME …

U WILL BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT …I DINT LAUGHED SINCE LAST 3 YEARS …
WHY ??? .. I DON’T KNOW …
EVEN AT THIS AGE I USED TO IMAGINE ABOUT ANGELS , FAIRIES , AND MAGICAL THINGS …

I DON’T KNOW FROM WHERE I AM ,,,IF U WILL SAY THAT I AM FROM BIHAR ..THEN I DON’T KNOW THE BHOJPURI ( LANGUAGE OF BIHAR ) …
IF U WILL SAY THAT I AM PUNJABI NOW ,…THEN ALSO I DON T KNOW PUNJABI …
I LIVED WITH MY PARENTS FROM 0 TO 3 YEARS …AFTER THAT …IN HOSTEL …IN HOSTEL IN HOSTEL …
IN MY LIFE I CHANGED 3 SCHOOLS 1 COLLEGE AND 8 HOSTELS …AFTER THAT I AM LIVING IN A PG ALONE ….

MY FRIENDS USED TO MAKE FUN OF MINE BY SAYING THAT I AM NOT FROM THIS EARTH , I AM FROM SOME DIFFERENT PLANET …

LAST TIME I CRIED VERY MUCH WHEN SOME ONE BURNED MY SECRET DIARY …IT WAS FRIDAY …
I MISS MY SECRET DIARY …IT WAS MY MIRROR AND ALSO MY FRIEND …

NOW I USED TO TALK WITH MY SELF ,, AND USED TO CREATE MANY IDEAS ABOUT MY DREAM AND AIM IN MY LIFE …
I LOVE TO SIT IN DARK AND CRY …
I DON’T LIKE WHEN SOME DISTURBS ME WHEN I CRY …I LOVE TO CRY …
I EVEN CRY WHILE WALKING ON ROAD , SITTING IN OFFICE ,WHILE HAVING THE LUNCH …
AND MOSTLY WHEN I HAD MY DINNER ALONE AT NIGHT …

I NEED A FRIEND NOT AN ADVISER OR TEACHER …

THERE WAS A TIME I LIVED IN A HOSTEL FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS …AND AFTER 6 YEARS WHEN MY FRIENDS WERE GOING TO LEAVE THE HOSTEL ,, I WAS SURPRISED TO MYSELF COS I DIDN’T KNEW THE NAME OF EVEN TEN OF THEM …
ONLY 2 OR 3 FRIENDS WERE LITTLE BIT CLOSER TO ME …

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM I HAVE IS I AM ALONE …
BUT I DON’T THINK THAT ANYONE WILL WASTE HIS/HER TIME WITH BORING PERSON LIKE ME …

BUT STILL I HAVE A THING IN MY MIND THAT , THE DAY WILL COME WHEN I WILL BE HAPPY …
IF GOD GIVES EVERY PERSON A BEST FRIEND ,,, THEN HE WILL ALSO GIVE ME A BEST FRIEND WHO WILL UNDERSTAND ME …

I AM A VERY BIG LIAR , I CAN LIE TO EVEN MY HEART …
THERE ARE MANY THINGS WHICH EVEN MY HEART DON’T KNOW …

I USED TO SAY ( LUCKY ) TO THE FRIENDS WHO LIVE WITH THERE MOM AND DAD …
ANY WAY …I AM WRITING THIS ALL COS TODAY I RELEASED THAT I AM A LOOSER …
I FEEL LIKE , I AM BEING ADJUSTED ,,,

IF U ARE WITH UR MOM AND DAD ,,, THEN IT MEANS U ARE LUCKIEST ON THE PLANET …

– ABHAY FRANCIS CHRISTANIAN –

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